Thursday, August 23, 2007
Thoughts fr the Incident
1. I'll realli need a hard time to improve my own self...
2. It is terrible to know the effect of influencing others
3. There should be a big change in the way i deal w frens, and now the 'target audience' changes too
2. It is terrible to know the effect of influencing others
3. There should be a big change in the way i deal w frens, and now the 'target audience' changes too
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
A Guy Without a Heart
There's a saying that "misfortunes never comes singly", and I've been rocked by not only the career thing, or the investment thing, but most of all the FRIENDSHIP thing...
It is always my belief (or being expressed without noticing myself) that being true is not (or not going to be) a very bad thing, and at the same time I notice my shortcomings in whatever aspects (mentally, character-wise, etc.), however all these are not-so-accepted in this cruel real life. I felt like I had offended the influential class boy and being bullied in all aspects of school life, and all of a sudden i felt terrified, frightened and scared... the goal may have succeeded, but the hurt or effect is always there and can never be perfectly healed. What I m terrifying sorry n frightened now is that the person I hurted (or ever hurted) are all my best frens i realised, and all of a sudden... my life is doomed without any frens (this is sth i always scared even from my childhood).
Thinking deeply my character is sure not meant to be good, but i can nvr realise i maybe such a human rumble (oh dear), someone reading this may feel i m such a sore loser, but hey this is the real me... the notion of frens being walked away one-by-one scared me a lot lot, as i m realli the stupidest guy on earth that i need "instructions" or someone to give me ways (maybe this is sth on Earth that cannot be tolerated). Or maybe i m simply living in a too simple world, and thinking that everyone will be nice n friendly, but not knowing everyone still got love n hates...
since i lost my first boi i've been realised of the issue and i was always trying hard to improve myself, but maybe the issue is getting more and more serious over time, and my big black day has come somehow... afterall i realli have to thank you for telling me all the things, but at the same time i TOTALLY lost the confidence (i dun hv much alreadi) in dealing wif any friends in the future, i just sound like a poor kid, but this is such a misery...
"you will later feel that all frens of urs r just passer-bys in ur life and u will never have a gd fren".... well u nailed it and totally shot into my heart, and i m zombie-dead now. are u a saint or winner or saviour? i wonder if this is a lose-lose (but which u dont think and maybe smiling n clapping mischievously in a corner... maybe in a round table)
* This piece of blog is meant to be the secret piece and never meant to be read by anyone... if u so happened to read it, u r now reading my most inside feeling
It is always my belief (or being expressed without noticing myself) that being true is not (or not going to be) a very bad thing, and at the same time I notice my shortcomings in whatever aspects (mentally, character-wise, etc.), however all these are not-so-accepted in this cruel real life. I felt like I had offended the influential class boy and being bullied in all aspects of school life, and all of a sudden i felt terrified, frightened and scared... the goal may have succeeded, but the hurt or effect is always there and can never be perfectly healed. What I m terrifying sorry n frightened now is that the person I hurted (or ever hurted) are all my best frens i realised, and all of a sudden... my life is doomed without any frens (this is sth i always scared even from my childhood).
Thinking deeply my character is sure not meant to be good, but i can nvr realise i maybe such a human rumble (oh dear), someone reading this may feel i m such a sore loser, but hey this is the real me... the notion of frens being walked away one-by-one scared me a lot lot, as i m realli the stupidest guy on earth that i need "instructions" or someone to give me ways (maybe this is sth on Earth that cannot be tolerated). Or maybe i m simply living in a too simple world, and thinking that everyone will be nice n friendly, but not knowing everyone still got love n hates...
since i lost my first boi i've been realised of the issue and i was always trying hard to improve myself, but maybe the issue is getting more and more serious over time, and my big black day has come somehow... afterall i realli have to thank you for telling me all the things, but at the same time i TOTALLY lost the confidence (i dun hv much alreadi) in dealing wif any friends in the future, i just sound like a poor kid, but this is such a misery...
"you will later feel that all frens of urs r just passer-bys in ur life and u will never have a gd fren".... well u nailed it and totally shot into my heart, and i m zombie-dead now. are u a saint or winner or saviour? i wonder if this is a lose-lose (but which u dont think and maybe smiling n clapping mischievously in a corner... maybe in a round table)
* This piece of blog is meant to be the secret piece and never meant to be read by anyone... if u so happened to read it, u r now reading my most inside feeling
